This Thanksgiving: What the Pandemic Taught Me to Appreciate

Life seemed to change for the worse when the pandemic hit but, upon reflection, here are four things I’ve learned to be thankful for.

#1: My children

For you, it may be a cousin or a friend. I’ve learned that my kids are a text message away. If I’m feeling the need to connect, I’ll send my daughter a “How are you?” text and almost always get a response within minutes. Even if it’s only a few words, the connection has been made and it feels good.

I text on my laptop. It’s much easier than using my phone because my fingers are bent at the joints from osteoarthritis. And so, on my phone, if I aim for an “e,” I’m likely to hit an “r,” etc. If I need to text when I’m not at home, I dictate. Modern technology!

#2: Zoom

Some of you may use another platform, such as FaceTime. This focuses on Zoom. I have a love-hate relationship with it, which I think is not unusual. The hate:

1) That delay. When I want to speak, I can’t tell if the person who’s talking is finished or not, and so I always feel as if I’m interrupting. This is one advantage of FaceTime: it doesn’t have that delay.

2) The fatigue. I start to wilt after an hour and can’t go beyond an hour and a half. I know people who are on Zoom all day for work. My son is one and, thankfully, it doesn’t bother him. Some months ago, I read an article that had two suggestions that have helped ward off fatigue. And, I have a suggestion of my own.

The first tip from the article was to click on “Hide Self View.” We don’t realize it, but we look at our faces most of the time when we’re on Zoom. It’s very fatiguing. You’ll notice you do it as soon as your face is no longer there for you to see! (Others can still see you, of course, unless you’ve clicked on Stop Video.) To Hide Self View, put your curser in the upper right of the box your face is in. Three dots will appear. Click on the dots and you’ll see several choices, including “Hide Self View.” Click on it. To undo this action, go to the upper right of your screen (not the box your face is in) where it says “View” and click on it. You’ll see that one of the choices is “Show Self View.” Click on that…and there you are.

One thing to watch for if you’ve hidden “self view”: If you move your body around, briefly “Show Self View,” so you can be sure your face is still in the box for others to see — or that you’re not on camera from the forehead up! Not staring at myself all the time goes a long way toward helping me not get fatigued.

Here’s the second suggestion from that article. Make your Zoom screen smaller. Just click on one of the corners of the Zoom screen to adjust its size. I make mine into a rectangle in the upper third of my laptop. Yes, people’s faces get smaller but I like it because, when combined with Hide Self View, it has the effect of making me feel as if I’m in a room with others, looking at them as they sit across from me. Again, it helps keep fatigue at bay.

And now for my own suggestion: Click on the pull down menu for Zoom (in the upper left corner of your laptop). It’s called “Zoom.us.” Click on it and you’ll see several choices. One will be “Hide Others.” I love clicking on this because, suddenly, my email and all my other apps and windows disappear. They’re not closed; they’re just hidden from view. I’m left with Zoom and, behind it, my desktop on which sits a calming photo of mountains. To get everything back, go to the upper left corner again and click on “Zoom.us.” Then click on “Show All.” Or, you can click on the icon in your dock for your email, etc. and the window will appear.

I said I have a love-hate relationship with Zoom. So, where’s the love? Well, I can see and talk to people anywhere in the world. My husband and I chat once a month with friends in Australia. And, we get to see each other’s faces because we’re maskless. Of course, in person is better in many ways. That said, when our friends start traveling to the U.S. annually like they used to, l’m positive we’ll continue to visit monthly via video.

I also use Zoom to play The New York Times crossword with my son who lives about an hour and half away (but we could do it no matter where he lives!). He enables “screen share” and I put the crossword up. I read a clue and type in an answer when one of us comes up with it. I used to be lousy at crosswords; now I’m only semi-lousy. And, I get in a lot of visiting as we play. It’s wonderful.

#3: Health Care Workers

I have a friend whose son is a pediatric ICU nurse. When I hear her stories of his heroism during the darkest days of the pandemic, I overflow with gratitude. For me, her son stands for all the health care workers who’ve been putting their lives on the line for us.

#4: The Internet

Many of us would benefit from not spending so much time on the internet. That said, it was a light in the darkness for me when the pandemic shut everything down. Whether it was ordering groceries to be delivered or reading the latest Covid news in my small county, I could count on the web to see me through.

I hope you’ll reflect on ways in which the pandemic has offered you opportunities to be grateful.